Welcome!

I'm excited you stopped by. I'm here to share the ins & outs of my journey through single parenthood, and to gather single parents & their supporters to share ideas on how we can be successful, happy families.

Please take a look around and offer any feedback to me or advice to others. Good luck on your journey! 

The Audacity of Fulfillment

I'm fairly certain I'm entering a third-life crisis. My birthday is next week, and in one year I will turn 30. And I am just not where I thought I would be when I was approaching 30.

Thankfully, my boss - wonderful and supportive and retiring (ugh!) - didn't take offense when I unwilling broke out in tears at work yesterday and accidently said, "My sister is younger than me, and she's starting work on her master's degree, and I'm a lowly office assistant!"

One of the ridiculous things here is, who cares, right? So many people are out of work. I should thank my lucky stars I have a job, and one with benefits! And if the economic situation doesn't turn around, my sister may not have many choices once she's done.

But I still want the education and dream job.

But I still need the self-esteem to get there.

The other side of this crisis is that ALL of my peers, the people I have been friends or acquaintances with for a while who all turn 30 in 2009, ALL of them are married or in "long-term partnerships" (some people in our generation don't feel the need to get married after the horrors our parents put us through).

I know a couple of single moms who are about ten years older than me. That should tell me something. Some of those peers won't be coupled much longer, and I know that. But it's just bothering me right now in a way that it didn't before.

I have been grateful that I'm not with someone now that I thought was good for me in my early 20s. I made some horrific choices, as did some of my friends. And they are stuck right now and I am free.

I am free, dammit. So why am I so upset right now?!

Because I want the husband and the dream marriage.

But I still need the self-esteem to get there.

Weight Managment Program

I'm getting some help in my battle to shed some pounds from Kaiser's HealthMedia Weight Management Program, a free online program customized for Kaiser members (they also have programs to stop smoking, for stress management, etc).

I entered in my scary numbers, including weight and waist circumference. I checked boxes next to "I never exercise" and "I eat to control my emotions." I admitted sweets were my ultimate weakness, and I entered the name and email address of a friend who can support me (you know who you are).

After 15 minutes or so, I was introduced to my "plan." It focuses on helping me lose 5 pounds at a time in 6-week increments, which sounds very manageable. I'll be weighing myself every week at the same time, setting goals, and more. First step? Keeping a daily journal that forces you to look at the choices you are currently making..

So tomorrow I'm going to try to eat no more than 2,021 calories (the magic number just to maintain, according to this program), and log every bite of food. More on the journal and plan coming up...

Mind-Body-Food Connection

The Kaiser Weight Management Program asked me to Examine Your Mind-Body-Food Connection.

Each day I rate my mood, level of physical activity, and eating habits in my journal, in addition to just logging my food intake.

For my Mind, I pick a number between 1 - "was in a bad mood most of the day" and 6 - "had a positive attitude most of the day." I almost think it helps to note your mood each time you consume food. It may be that you eat normally through the day, but eat due to stress at home in the evening.

For my Body, I chose somewhere between 1 - "didn't get the exercise I need" and 6 - "met or exceeded exercise goals for the day." As I said before, I'm also tracking how much sleep I get. I think this is another key component.

And for Food, I chose anywhere from 1 - "had no control over food choices" and 6 - "met food goals for calories and fat grams for the day."

Each day for a week, I also examine the connection by contemplating a question provided. They range from "I use food as a substitute for _____" to "What will it take for me to make exercise a priority?"

These are hard freakin questions!

I'm really not having to make any serious changes yet, so this is ALMOST fun. And I think it's a great way to dip my toe into the pool of long-term health.