Getting Child Support

One of the reasons I am back on my feet after Hitting Rock Bottom is because I am finally receiving child support. But let me tell you, it wasn't easy getting here!

I didn't realize how difficult it is to actually obtain a court order for child support until AJ was born last year. It took about 14 months to get through the process! Someone needs to warn you about that when you start.

A case cannot be opened with California's Department of Child Support Services until your child is actually born. The father's name will not go onto the birth certificate if you are unmarried unless he actually fills out a Declaration of Paternity.

You must have the courts declare him the father before any support can be assigned. AJ's father was hard to pin down for an appointment for a DNA test. It wasn't until he received a notification that the court would go ahead and enter a judgment of paternity, if he didn't take the test, that he made his appointment.

To top it off, he skipped the first one and bought himself another few weeks before his make-up appointment (once again, a warning was issued that it was his last chance). By the way, back support was not accumulating at this point.

When the results finally came back, the rest of the process could start. There are lots of documents which verify each parent's income, assets, and expenditures (such as support to other "baby mommas"), as well as how much time each parent is spending with the child (he still hasn't met her - his choice).

After a few months, Child Support Services made an appointment with him to present him an "offer." He of course missed his first meeting again. Finally they gave him the amount over the phone, then he had 30 days to file a "hardship" document with the courts if he disagreed with the amount and couldn't afford it.

He did file it right at the last minute, and a court date was set. It's important for the petitioning parent to actually show up at this hearing, because Child Support Services gives the payer the "benefit of the doubt" and tries to make the amount reasonable. He of course did not show, so by dragging it out actually cost himself $100 more a month.

So the money should start coming in any day now, I thought. Uh, not quite. More paperwork had to be shuffled, and then a Wage Assignment had to be sent to his employer to take money directly from his paycheck. The employer has 45 days to institute this, so it was a bloody miracle when the money arrived.

I now have direct deposit for the support. You can even monitor payments made online. The amount I get from AJ's father are pretty screwy, and never the same. He gets paid weekly but they can only take up to 50 percent of your paycheck and have to consider other support obligations, insurance premiums, etc.

I now receive about $650 a month, so this was worth the hassle. Unfortunately, some families might get little or no money, but you never know what might come ten years down the road. My sympathies go out to those of you wading through this mess!