Camp Hope-I-Come-Back-In-One-Piece

My mission, since I chose to accept it, is to keep seven 12- & 13-year-old girls from harming themselves or each other at Aly's Science Camp this week. In other words, Riot Control.

Yes, as if I somehow wanted to relive the horrors of my own fifth grade "outdoor ed" experience, I fought for the chance to chaperone her and her classmates for this four-day "learning and team-building experience" we'll "always remember."

To be honest, I knew Aly's chances of having a positive experience (and not getting sent home early) would be greatly increased if I was there, and I'm hoping it will be good for us to spend a little AJ-free time together.

She's excited because she missed fifth-grade outdoor ed due to a change in school districts, so she hasn't done something like this with kids from school before. At the same time, she has gone to summer adventure camp and is looking forward to activities like the Zipline.

Have you heard of this? You get to strap your (in my case) big butt into a dubious-looking harness that is supposed to keep you safe - her teacher warned us to find just the right fit or you'll get a wedgie that you'll certainly "always remember" - and then somehow fly through the forest attached to a little wire.

Aly says I simply HAVE to do this with her... I'm still working on a twisted-ankle-headache-nosebleed thing to save my, well, butt.

And more importantly, I HAVE to help her make best friends out of all her enemies, be cool, make everyone like me, stay out of her way, and be right beside her if someone picks on her.

It's a major undertaking, that's for sure. I'm just hoping my harness comes with a superwoman cape.